Field Notes -
Dispatch 32 – Rose Cottage, American Falls, Idaho, USA, Northern
Hemisphere
Tuesday, May 23,
2017
Greetings, Fellow
Adventurers!
Who doesn't like a
wedding? What is not to like? Happiness abounds, there is lots of
laughter and free food. Just the the ticket as far as I am
concerned. This week I attended a wonderful spring wedding of a
niece who lives over near Boise. It was held outdoors in a beautiful
tree lined venue with a professionally barbecued hog (an Idaho
specialty) and free beer (two of my favorite words in the English
language.) So why was it such a difficult trip?
You must remember
that Boise is on the the other side of our great state from American
Falls, my village. Now that is about 3.5 hours of travel one way as
fast the Pony Express can go. My math skills are not everything they
might be but I reckon that comes close to eight hours travel for a
round trip. Most of you don't know my sisters (all four) but they
are not like me. They like to talk, and talk they do. If they had a
gold medal in the Olympics for talking they would be as famous as
Mark
Spitz is for
swimming. Anyway, I was tossed into a car (seemed like a phone booth
size), two of my talkative sisters were added and so was MR. My
sisters locked MR into “chat fest loud mode” and we set off on
the adventure. Also, please know that we were being bounced up and
down like bronc riders in a four wheel drive SUV because the stage
coach road to Boise is very primitive to say the least. Many hours
of this bouncing and “conversation” and I was certainly ready for
some free beer.
We did arrive, and
like I said, I do enjoy a wedding. MR always cries at weddings and
people always come up, put their arms around her, give her a hug, and
ask what the problem is. Invariably, she looks my way and begins
sobbing even harder. Then everyone starts looking my way and when
they realize I am her hubby they start weeping for her and continue
to pat her on the back. Sometimes they shake their fists at me.
Well, this always makes me feel like a real fish but what can I do?
By this point I am usually on my fourth mug of beer and dancing like
a Comanche with a couple of the bridesmaids. This all happens well
before the wedding ceremony even starts. I am not much of a looker
but I know how to have a good time.
The
bride and groom were everything a fairy tale requires and the guests
were congenial. After the nuptials I met most of the groom's
extensive family and they were astonished at meeting me. Well, you
know how charming I can be and I like to think I was at my best. I
pledged loudly, and often, to all present that I was their best pal
and would fight to the death any snake who said different. It was
about at this time I was locked in the car.
I really don't
remember much of the ride home except that the chatting never stopped
and I was the object of much of it. As I recall the general theme
was, “What is to be done about Old Trout?” Fortunaetly, I missed
most of the chatter as I spent the majority of ride in the back seat
sing Roy Rogers songs to myself and dozing on and off.
That was my
adventure for this week. I hope I get invited to another wedding
soon but MR says the probability is remote at best. There is a
better chance of me being hit by a meteorite. So, optimistic me, I
keep looking up!
