Field
Notes - Dispatch 18 – The Desert Oasis, California
Tuesday,
February 3, 2015
Greetings
Fellow Adventurers!
Apparently
the word has gotten out regarding my prowess as a outdoorsman.
People here in the Coachella Valley have started asking me to guide
them into the back country on trails seldom seen by anyone but old
miners. MR tells them that I can indeed get them into the back
country but rarely can I get myself, or anyone else, out.
It is true that I am already on a first name basis with the key players of local the search and rescue team, having met them on several occasions while I've been leading groups in the hills. At each rescue I have explained to these heroes my belief that there are mineral deposits in the local soil that confuse my compass and make finding the trailhead difficult at best. They have suggested to me that I could not find my rear end with both hands if my life depended upon it. I am going to write a letter to Governor Brown regarding this outlandish impertinence.
It goes without saying that the Living Desert Zoo has began calling me, asking my advice on matters concerning the care and feeding of their mega fauna. I suspect they have read feature articles about me in National Geographic and Outdoor Idaho. MR said the few people who read about me only do so at the post office where my photo is on several posters with a reward underneath. What a wild and zany helpmate she is.
Anyway, the zoo wants me to consult in such areas as background information about the animals, methods of enclosing the animals, medical concerns and dietary requirements. Of course, I am an authority in all these matters but I have told them I only want to assist with preparing the animals for dinner. My dinner, not the animals'. This is an area in which I excel. For instance, I have a recipe for robust sauce to drizzle over kudu cutlets that will leave diners asking for more. Unfortunately, the zoo administrators have not called back yet, but I am sure they will. I have some ideas for a meercat stew that will seal the deal! In the future I can see the zoo opening a restaurant like no other in, or near, Palm Springs with Chef Old Trout at the helm. Call the zoo now for your reservations and mention my name for preferential seating.
To see what is on the menu click here…
